Inferiority - it's Not from God!!

One thing I have been feeling all week is that I am inferior.

Why?  Because I see people I knew in high school who forced some good things to happen to them.  I almost think they did it to show off to others as if to say: "Look at me now!  You were mean to me in high school or you had something/someone I wanted.  Well, here I am, so happy and successful and where are you?"

Working a minimum wage job at Kennesaw State University and in debt for my college degree. I am taking a lot of medication (which when I tell people I often get the "why are you on so many drugs?") and I am in debt to the pulmonologist and allergist for finding out I have asthma and allergies.  Sometimes I wonder: why me?  Why can't I be happy like the other people I know?  Why don't I have a better paying job?  Why am I not married yet?  Why am I in debt with others aren't over school?  Why am I not a good enough Christian?

I often think that if I were a better Christian, my life could have gone better.  I could be going to college where I am not in debt.  Perhaps I could still be working a fast food job but perhaps with a management position so I make more money and qualify for some kind of health care.  Perhaps I could be married to the man of my dreams that I chased after for months until he married me...

Then I realized, why am I so whiny?

I have a "friend" who got married recently.  Lovely person, just doesn't seem to like me very much.  This friend was jealous of my relationship in high school.  This person wanted love and to be loved.  Who doesn't?  Well, they went to college, found a mate, and got married in an unbelievably short time frame.  I was jealous.  And I was not even invited to the wedding.  At one time, I thought that this person and I were super close.  What happened? 

I have been in a relationship with my fiance for 3 years.  We aren't getting married until december.  He's not rich and doesn't own his own business like my friend's spouse.  But is love all about riches?  Now that I think about it, I would not trade my fiance for anyone.  He's my best friend and God brought him into my life when I needed a friend.  Not when I needed a boyfriend, that part came later.  He came into my life when I needed someone to be a real friend to me.  God wrote the rest of the story.  Now we are engaged and getting married soon.

So why should I be jealous of someone else's happiness?

We live in a society that says: "I want it now and I want to make sure that I get the best to spite all the people that I think are better than me."  It's not always about being true to your friends, it's about one-upping and proving that you can do better than the next guy.  When did it become this way?  I don't think God intended for all of us to sit around and find ways to make others feel inferior.  Feeling inferior is what makes us want to one-up others.  If we can make ourselves look better than our friends, the feeling of inferiority goes away.  It's as simple as that. 

One thing I would challenge you to do, reader, is follow after God and don't feel hurt when people do things to make themselves look better.  Let God write the story to your life and trust that it will be more amazing than you can imagine.  Sure, you can force things to happen.  My old high school buddy is an example.  However, it's happier sometimes to be content and just wait for God to bring the next chapter of your life to you.  It's a lot less stressful and it's a lot more interesting than if you try to write it yourself.  Learn what I learned: don't be bitter because other people are "better off" than you are. If you are serving in the place where the Lord has placed you, you will be just fine.  And there's nothing to feel inferior about.

God is the ultimate storyteller.  May you let Him give you a story that is beyond what you can ever hope and dream.  Just say: "Lord, I will do what you command and follow where you lead" and forget about being better than anyone else.  The best way to reach out to others is to let them know that you care and that you don't look down upon them.

Thanks for reading my rant of the day.  Hopefully it speaks to you in some way or another,
Sincerely,
Julia