I have not written in awhile...and since then, many things have changed in my life. All I keep telling myself is that I want things to get better. Why? Because no matter how hard I try, I feel that I am not good enough.
Good enough for work? Sure. I just got a promotion and a raise and I get along with everyone at work really well.
Good enough for school? Yep. School has never been a problem for me.
Good enough for my family? of course. They love me no matter what
So who is it that I am not good enough for and by whose standards? Well, for years I have realized that I am not a "good" Christian. Following the faith has been hard for me. I believe in God, but I don't believe in some of the aspects of the Christian religion. Why? Because I have never been popular because of them. I have not been able to relate to many people because of them. I have been "dissed" in a polite, "Christian" way by people I thought were my "spiritual family" because of religion.
Why all this hurt in the name of Christianity? And I am not the only one this happens to.
WARNING: the next things may seem harsh, but I know it needs to be said.
God says the greatest commandment is to Love the Lord your God with all your heart and the second is to love your neighbor as yourself. Does this mean Christianity is a popularity contest? No. Does this mean that you only love the people who believe the exact same thing as you and ignore the "bad" people? No. What good does that do for the Kingdom of God? How would you feel if you were rejected because you aren't Godly enough? I've been told that many times. What about this: you dress too suggestively. Believe it or not, I've gotten that. Oh and there's the: "You go to a public college? Bless your heart, it must be so hard to keep your heart pure with so many non-Christians out there!"
People, please listen to me: DO NOT avoid Non-Christians like the plague!! Did Jesus not tell us in the Great Commission to go unto all the earth and spread the gospel?
Here is the account of the Great Commission from Matthew (ESV):
16Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them. 17And when they saw him they worshiped him, but some doubted. 18And Jesus came and said to them, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."
Can I tell you all that it says "go unto all nations"? Insert different words here. Go unto all colleges and spread the good news, even if they aren't Christian ones. Go to the homeless shelter and spread the love of Christ even if one of the homeless people says a cuss word. They need to hear the word of the Lord and they will learn that they need to change. It is not our jobs to change them. We just need to share the love of Jesus with everyone, no matter who they are. What about all the downtown ministries? There are prostitutes and drug dealers who have never heard the good news and we are afraid to tell them because they are sinful. Well guess what? Read Romans 3:23
"23for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,"
I am a sinner, you are a sinner, the KSU students at the hookah bar are sinners. The prostitutes and drug dealers are sinners. We are all sinners in desperate need of the cleansing power of Jesus Christ.
Let me tell you all that I spent way to long trying to judge the hearts of others. However, I have learned that it only causes resentment and bitterness. Because while there is always going to be someone "worse" than you, there will always be someone "better". Pretty soon, being a Christian becomes a contest of who can be the most holy rather than serving God and loving our neighbors. I went to a school where I was told that I needed to avoid certain children because they were not following after God and they did not have pure hearts. How could the teachers and staff look into the hearts of these children? They can't. Only God can. But I thought I could learn to judge people's motives and learn to be better than the unholy children who were never going to amount to anything...until I found out that I was one of those.
My mother was informed at a prayer meeting with the leaders of my school that they were concerned about whether or not I would go to heaven. She said also many of the beautiful, friendly girls who went to the school were being called "Jezebels". I am not saying these things to whine, I am saying them because I want you all to know what I was a part of. Until I knew what these people really thought of me, I was okay with thinking of myself as better than the "Jezebels" because I dressed in clothes 2 sizes too big and never talked to boys. However, even doing that was not good enough for my school.
Recently, I discovered some other people I thought I knew were falling into this trap of thinking they know people's motives. I am guilty of it, too. I realized we were together falling for this mentality that Christians should stay away from the people who will "pull us away from God". However, there is a difference between CONDONING the wrong behaviors of others and CARING and LOVING those people. Love the sinner, hate the sin. Apply this to yourself. Love who God made you to be, but hate the sin in your life. Realize that you are just as much of a sinner as your neighbor who smokes pot and gets into trouble all the time. (I don't know what your neighbors are really like, I was just exaggerating for emphasis).
The reality is: We are all made in God's image. He loves all of us enough to send His son to die for us. Would he do this if only a few good people could get to heaven? No. If there were a few good people who were going to heaven and no one else, there would be no need for Jesus to die on the cross. No, God SO LOVED THE WORLD. He loves all of us equally!! He forgives all sins.
The question is: Can we forgive each other?
Just some thoughts to chew on. I am still trying to interpret my feelings and make sure I am not becoming bitter. My heart just aches to think of the judgmental, overly-religious person I was trying to be in high school and how I totally misjudged some great people because of what my friends told me about them. I never took the time to love on some people who didn't fit the mold and I wonder if I missed the chance at sharing Christ with some people because I was too concerned about how I would look if I hung out with someone "less holy" than me. Religion (make sure you understand I am talking about purely religious self righteousness, not Christianity here) is dangerous. Let God be your righteousness. Let His glory shine through you. Don't try to do it all yourself. After all, if being "the perfect Christian" could get you to heaven, what is the use of God's Grace?
Well, that's all folks! Good night :)
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Wedding "WooHoos" and "Woes"
Planning a Wedding is a lot of work...
However, having a great support team helps quite a bit. First, my grandparents gave Chris and I a trunk full of dishes and kitchen supplies. Chris's parents gave us pots and pans, kitchen utensils, cups, tupperware, and kitchen towels for my birthday. It was great. Also, my grandparents on my mother's side are giving us some of their old furniture. My grandparents on my father's side are helping us pay for the honeymoon and helped us set up a place to stay. (It's really nice. We are also going to Disney :)
I have been working my new job as Shift Manager (in training) at Arby's for three weeks now! I am really enjoying it. It helps because I am making more money which means more money to set aside for wedding stuff and nice washer and dryer for Chris and I's new place. Also, Chris has a job interview this week for a great IT position with a local business. We are praying the Lord will bless us with this.
Now for the Woes:
Trust me, this is not a bunch of complaining, just some rants about stuff I don't understand about wedding planning and vendors, etc...
1. Sales people are crazy some times.
I went to David's Bridal for my wedding dress. The salesperson tried to talk me out of getting the one that I wanted because it was so "plain" compared to some of the other ones I tried. Although they were having a sale that day, some of the others I tried on were super expensive and most of them were itchy and tight and too poufy. I finally just told her that it was my wedding and that I would get the dress I want. When I went in to look at bridesmaid dresses with my bridal attendants, the sales person told us that the dress I had picked out would be discontinued by June 3rd and that all the girls needed to place their order as soon as possible. A month and a few days later, I am on David's Bridal.com and they have the exact same dress in all sizes available for order online. I feel bad about what I put some of my girls through because I believe the salesperson. Even if the Kennesaw David's Bridal were to stop carrying the dress, Davids Bridal's website has it...
2. You Never Win Things from David's Bridal
They tell you when you sign up for David's Bridal that they will enter you in drawings for free dresses, etc. and all that really happens is that they put you on mailing lists for a ton of nationwide vendors eager to charge you an arm and a leg for photography, cakes, honeymoons, and makeovers. That's why I did not check the box when I made an online account that says I want to receive special emails from outside vendors. I get enough from David's as it is. I logged on to the David's Bridal website today and changed my email preference to one that I used in ninth grade. That should keep the emails from flooding into my current email account.
3. Mary Kay Consultants Buy Your Name From David's Bridal
A friend of mine who used to sell Mary Kay told me about this sales ploy devised by local Mary Kay directors when I went to a party for one of my friends who was told she won a Mary Kay makeover party from David's Bridal. My former Mary Kay consultant told me how other consultants can go into David's Bridal and buy 25 names for a price and call all the girls until they get a person to agree to the free "makeover". One thing I know, is everything we did at that party I went to, I did with my former Mary Kay consultants. Those ladies do free facials and color make up appointments all the time. They like to have these bridal party things because they know that new brides want to look good for the wedding and might buy a lot of make up and skincare to prep. I bought a really expensive skin care set at that party that I probably could have gotten from Target or Ulta for much cheaper and it would have worked just as well.
4. Men's Warehouse Sends you an Ungodly Amount of Coupons
They just want to make sure that your groom doesn't forget he can get $40 dollars off every tux in his wedding party and after 5 guys pay their rental fees, his tux is free. I have gotten several of the postcards in the mail and a handful of emails that all have this message. Also, Chris has received a coupon in the mail and his mom receives them by email. Okay, Men's Warehouse, we get it!! We aren't getting married 18 times in a row....we only need one coupon.
5. Everything is More Expensive with the word "Wedding" in the Name
From my experience thus far, bakeries charge a good deal more for wedding cakes than they do regular cakes. Photographers come up with extremely expensive packages for wedding days but they only charge $250 for a whole day of senior pictures. Shoes and accessories are more expensive from bridal stores and bridal websites than they are from regular department stores. It's ridiculous. If you are trying to save money, just buy generic white tablecloths. Don't buy "Wedding" tablecloths, cause I am sure they'll be like $20 a piece! Don't buy your bridal and bridesmaid accessories from a bridal shop. There is this wonderful place called Target and an amazing website called eBay that has tons of wedding stuff for much less. The only places I have found that don't really charge an arm and a leg for wedding supplies and decor are WalMart and Dollar Tree. And some of their stuff looks just as good as ones from the wedding store websites or Michael's or Party City!
That's my wedding rant for the day. Other than these minor issues I ran into, wedding planning is coming along splendidly.
TTFN,
Julia
However, having a great support team helps quite a bit. First, my grandparents gave Chris and I a trunk full of dishes and kitchen supplies. Chris's parents gave us pots and pans, kitchen utensils, cups, tupperware, and kitchen towels for my birthday. It was great. Also, my grandparents on my mother's side are giving us some of their old furniture. My grandparents on my father's side are helping us pay for the honeymoon and helped us set up a place to stay. (It's really nice. We are also going to Disney :)
I have been working my new job as Shift Manager (in training) at Arby's for three weeks now! I am really enjoying it. It helps because I am making more money which means more money to set aside for wedding stuff and nice washer and dryer for Chris and I's new place. Also, Chris has a job interview this week for a great IT position with a local business. We are praying the Lord will bless us with this.
Now for the Woes:
Trust me, this is not a bunch of complaining, just some rants about stuff I don't understand about wedding planning and vendors, etc...
1. Sales people are crazy some times.
I went to David's Bridal for my wedding dress. The salesperson tried to talk me out of getting the one that I wanted because it was so "plain" compared to some of the other ones I tried. Although they were having a sale that day, some of the others I tried on were super expensive and most of them were itchy and tight and too poufy. I finally just told her that it was my wedding and that I would get the dress I want. When I went in to look at bridesmaid dresses with my bridal attendants, the sales person told us that the dress I had picked out would be discontinued by June 3rd and that all the girls needed to place their order as soon as possible. A month and a few days later, I am on David's Bridal.com and they have the exact same dress in all sizes available for order online. I feel bad about what I put some of my girls through because I believe the salesperson. Even if the Kennesaw David's Bridal were to stop carrying the dress, Davids Bridal's website has it...
2. You Never Win Things from David's Bridal
They tell you when you sign up for David's Bridal that they will enter you in drawings for free dresses, etc. and all that really happens is that they put you on mailing lists for a ton of nationwide vendors eager to charge you an arm and a leg for photography, cakes, honeymoons, and makeovers. That's why I did not check the box when I made an online account that says I want to receive special emails from outside vendors. I get enough from David's as it is. I logged on to the David's Bridal website today and changed my email preference to one that I used in ninth grade. That should keep the emails from flooding into my current email account.
3. Mary Kay Consultants Buy Your Name From David's Bridal
A friend of mine who used to sell Mary Kay told me about this sales ploy devised by local Mary Kay directors when I went to a party for one of my friends who was told she won a Mary Kay makeover party from David's Bridal. My former Mary Kay consultant told me how other consultants can go into David's Bridal and buy 25 names for a price and call all the girls until they get a person to agree to the free "makeover". One thing I know, is everything we did at that party I went to, I did with my former Mary Kay consultants. Those ladies do free facials and color make up appointments all the time. They like to have these bridal party things because they know that new brides want to look good for the wedding and might buy a lot of make up and skincare to prep. I bought a really expensive skin care set at that party that I probably could have gotten from Target or Ulta for much cheaper and it would have worked just as well.
4. Men's Warehouse Sends you an Ungodly Amount of Coupons
They just want to make sure that your groom doesn't forget he can get $40 dollars off every tux in his wedding party and after 5 guys pay their rental fees, his tux is free. I have gotten several of the postcards in the mail and a handful of emails that all have this message. Also, Chris has received a coupon in the mail and his mom receives them by email. Okay, Men's Warehouse, we get it!! We aren't getting married 18 times in a row....we only need one coupon.
5. Everything is More Expensive with the word "Wedding" in the Name
From my experience thus far, bakeries charge a good deal more for wedding cakes than they do regular cakes. Photographers come up with extremely expensive packages for wedding days but they only charge $250 for a whole day of senior pictures. Shoes and accessories are more expensive from bridal stores and bridal websites than they are from regular department stores. It's ridiculous. If you are trying to save money, just buy generic white tablecloths. Don't buy "Wedding" tablecloths, cause I am sure they'll be like $20 a piece! Don't buy your bridal and bridesmaid accessories from a bridal shop. There is this wonderful place called Target and an amazing website called eBay that has tons of wedding stuff for much less. The only places I have found that don't really charge an arm and a leg for wedding supplies and decor are WalMart and Dollar Tree. And some of their stuff looks just as good as ones from the wedding store websites or Michael's or Party City!
That's my wedding rant for the day. Other than these minor issues I ran into, wedding planning is coming along splendidly.
TTFN,
Julia
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Keeping up with Everyone I'm Not...
I am going to be brutally, painstakingly honest in this post. Lately I have been feeling that my life can be considered mediocre at best. From realizing that I am not the best author in the world to getting denied for scholarships because there were others who were more "academically qualified" than me to planning a budget wedding, I find myself wallowing in my own discouragement. I have a strong Choleric side to my temperament (for those of you who do not know temperament lingo, a Choleric is a mover and hates feeling like a failure)and it has manifested itself often for my whole life. I remember telling my parents when I was 10 that I was going to drop out of my dance for the Nutcracker Ballet because I wasn't the best and the teacher kept getting annoyed with me. I felt that she had no right to treat me the way she was and I was sick of being embarrassed in front of my classmates because I could do the dances well enough.
I've always been a type "A" personality. This has caused me a lot of unneeded stress. Who wants to spend their whole life competing with friends and family to have things they will never have and be someone they will never be? Well, that's what I've been trying to do for years. I have never felt good enough by my own standards. Heck, I am not even good enough by the standards of other people (take the scholarship committee at KSU, for example). I realize that to people like my fiancee and my family and friends, I am someone very special. However, I need to learn to be happy with that fact alone and stop trying to make everyone else in the world feel that same way about me. I love having a support system who is always proud of my achievements. Sometimes, they still were not able to convince me to not quit something just because I only got average results. There was a time when I wanted to quit college. I felt that I couldn't master anything and I would never find something I was truly good at. Finally, I found something I love and have a passion for and can also get really good grades in, too. Sociology is a passion of mine and I intend to get a job in that field or relating to that field, even if it is kind of a mediocre job.
In sociological theory, there are two major viewpoints. One is Conflict Theory, which focuses on society teaching that the rich should oppress the poor. There is not much room for middle class in this form of society. I lean more towards the functionalist viewpoint. In a functionalist society, it is necessary to have a low, middle, and upper class. I feel that financially, my family has always been middle class. Technically, my fiancee and I will still be considered on the low end of the middle class financially when we move out because we make more than $18 K a year combined. So we will have a "just okay" yearly salary with a "just okay" little apartment and some "just okay" health insurance and an average sized TV. We won't be nothing special. What's the use in keeping up with the Jones's when the Jones's are people we can never be?
The reality is that Chris (my fiancee) and I play important roles in society. We are both working on college educations, which will improve our salaries and get us better health benefits. We will then be able to buy a house and maybe a new car. We're just two hard working people who are really stubborn. We usually don't give up, even if we aren't the best. And that's what make society work. If everyone who is not the richest or the most powerful member of society gives up, we end up with a small upper class and a huge lower class just waiting for the benevolence of one of the rich guys to help them afford toilet paper. That is not the ideal for society. What I have realized is that I may not be anyone special. I may not be a good enough writer or singer to become famous. I may never earn a doctorate degree or win national recognition for some huge career advancement or achievement. However, God still wants me to keep living and doing the best I can. Why should I try to be the best when God tells me to consider others better than myself? It's not about being the best. It's about loving God and loving others.
One more area in life where I feel mediocre is my wedding. I know that it is going to be one of the most memorable days of my life. I will be ecstatic either way. But I can't help feeling that my good friend who is getting married next year will have a much nicer wedding. I can't help but feeling that my friends who got married last year had better weddings than I will have. So-and-So had or will have a more expensive wedding dress than me, what's-her-name has a bigger diamond on her ring than I do, and the Who's-its are going to have more people at their wedding. Why do women have to be so competitive??? I don't want to be a remake of the movie Bride Wars!! Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway did good enough as it is...
Sometimes it's just very easy to get caught up in what everyone else is doing. Why should I try to make my wedding be just like someone else's? Better yet, why should go into debt up to my eyeballs in order to have a more expensive, fancier wedding than my friends? That's not what it's all about! It's about me and my fiancee sharing our love for each other and making a commitment to stay together in front of our family and friends. I don't keep to wear a dress shaped like a cream puff and have a diamond as big as a ring pop candy to prove that I am in love. Weddings have become too much of a competition and too much about social status and less about the sacred bond that the bride and groom make with one another. I know that my wedding will be special because it is the day that I leave my mother and father and my groom and I will become one flesh. there's no point in trying to one up anyone, especially not for your wedding.
So, long story short, I am still considering myself average, middle class, slightly mediocre, but fulfilled through God. Having all the prestige and riches in the world could not make me as a happy and satisfied as the love of my Savior. I still want money and I still want to be the best and most popular person I can be, but I am not trying so hard to reach those goals. From here on out, I take things one day at a time and rely on God to fulfill me and let Him lift me up rather than me trying to do so myself. It's funny how God knocks people off of their pedestals. He has done that with me because I often get a little too proud of myself. It may not seem evident to those around me, but it happens. Whether I vocalize it or not, I greatly value personal achievement. However, I value my relationship with God and my relationship with my loved ones enough to stop striving for what I can't have. Climbing to the top of the ladder of success is not worth risking relationships and friendships. Thank God I realized this before it was too late.
There's my very honest blog post! I hope you readers have a great rest of the week!
Love,
Julia
I've always been a type "A" personality. This has caused me a lot of unneeded stress. Who wants to spend their whole life competing with friends and family to have things they will never have and be someone they will never be? Well, that's what I've been trying to do for years. I have never felt good enough by my own standards. Heck, I am not even good enough by the standards of other people (take the scholarship committee at KSU, for example). I realize that to people like my fiancee and my family and friends, I am someone very special. However, I need to learn to be happy with that fact alone and stop trying to make everyone else in the world feel that same way about me. I love having a support system who is always proud of my achievements. Sometimes, they still were not able to convince me to not quit something just because I only got average results. There was a time when I wanted to quit college. I felt that I couldn't master anything and I would never find something I was truly good at. Finally, I found something I love and have a passion for and can also get really good grades in, too. Sociology is a passion of mine and I intend to get a job in that field or relating to that field, even if it is kind of a mediocre job.
In sociological theory, there are two major viewpoints. One is Conflict Theory, which focuses on society teaching that the rich should oppress the poor. There is not much room for middle class in this form of society. I lean more towards the functionalist viewpoint. In a functionalist society, it is necessary to have a low, middle, and upper class. I feel that financially, my family has always been middle class. Technically, my fiancee and I will still be considered on the low end of the middle class financially when we move out because we make more than $18 K a year combined. So we will have a "just okay" yearly salary with a "just okay" little apartment and some "just okay" health insurance and an average sized TV. We won't be nothing special. What's the use in keeping up with the Jones's when the Jones's are people we can never be?
The reality is that Chris (my fiancee) and I play important roles in society. We are both working on college educations, which will improve our salaries and get us better health benefits. We will then be able to buy a house and maybe a new car. We're just two hard working people who are really stubborn. We usually don't give up, even if we aren't the best. And that's what make society work. If everyone who is not the richest or the most powerful member of society gives up, we end up with a small upper class and a huge lower class just waiting for the benevolence of one of the rich guys to help them afford toilet paper. That is not the ideal for society. What I have realized is that I may not be anyone special. I may not be a good enough writer or singer to become famous. I may never earn a doctorate degree or win national recognition for some huge career advancement or achievement. However, God still wants me to keep living and doing the best I can. Why should I try to be the best when God tells me to consider others better than myself? It's not about being the best. It's about loving God and loving others.
One more area in life where I feel mediocre is my wedding. I know that it is going to be one of the most memorable days of my life. I will be ecstatic either way. But I can't help feeling that my good friend who is getting married next year will have a much nicer wedding. I can't help but feeling that my friends who got married last year had better weddings than I will have. So-and-So had or will have a more expensive wedding dress than me, what's-her-name has a bigger diamond on her ring than I do, and the Who's-its are going to have more people at their wedding. Why do women have to be so competitive??? I don't want to be a remake of the movie Bride Wars!! Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway did good enough as it is...
Sometimes it's just very easy to get caught up in what everyone else is doing. Why should I try to make my wedding be just like someone else's? Better yet, why should go into debt up to my eyeballs in order to have a more expensive, fancier wedding than my friends? That's not what it's all about! It's about me and my fiancee sharing our love for each other and making a commitment to stay together in front of our family and friends. I don't keep to wear a dress shaped like a cream puff and have a diamond as big as a ring pop candy to prove that I am in love. Weddings have become too much of a competition and too much about social status and less about the sacred bond that the bride and groom make with one another. I know that my wedding will be special because it is the day that I leave my mother and father and my groom and I will become one flesh. there's no point in trying to one up anyone, especially not for your wedding.
So, long story short, I am still considering myself average, middle class, slightly mediocre, but fulfilled through God. Having all the prestige and riches in the world could not make me as a happy and satisfied as the love of my Savior. I still want money and I still want to be the best and most popular person I can be, but I am not trying so hard to reach those goals. From here on out, I take things one day at a time and rely on God to fulfill me and let Him lift me up rather than me trying to do so myself. It's funny how God knocks people off of their pedestals. He has done that with me because I often get a little too proud of myself. It may not seem evident to those around me, but it happens. Whether I vocalize it or not, I greatly value personal achievement. However, I value my relationship with God and my relationship with my loved ones enough to stop striving for what I can't have. Climbing to the top of the ladder of success is not worth risking relationships and friendships. Thank God I realized this before it was too late.
There's my very honest blog post! I hope you readers have a great rest of the week!
Love,
Julia
Monday, June 13, 2011
The blinding power of love...
If there is one thing I have learned from my three and a half years of being in a relationship, it's that my wonderful and amazing fiancee is not always perfect. He has had to realize that I am not perfect. Especially in fights/issues that pop up between our mutual friends, Chris and I have had to learn not to be biased toward one another just because we are in a relationship. Nothing bugs me more than the couples who will defend each other to no end and not acknowledge the fact that they are both capable of doing something wrong...
GASP! - you may say. "Are you telling me that my perfect, beautiful, amazing significant other could have done something wrong? That is not possible! They are always just misunderstood by others and it's not their fault."
This is the most destructive thing for a relationship, in my opinion. You need to understand 1. that you are capable of doing something wrong, 2. that your spouse/significant other/fiancee is capable of doing wrong, 3. that you both need to not automatically assume that each other is right when confronted by an outside party about some misunderstanding.
Take for example, a situation between a group of friends. Some of the friends happen to be in a relationship with one another. Chris and I are being told that we are doing wrong but when we are wronged, the other parties involved say:
"Well, my boyfriend could not have done that. Chris is just overreacting!" Or "My girlfriend is a saint and handles her emotions very well. Julia is just having one of those emotional girl episodes and you (Chris) need to control her better."
Can I tell you all that this has happened to Chris and I before? It's childish, it's stupid, and it's really melodramatic. But guess, we all do it. We all get involved in it. No one wants their side of the story to be the one that gets the blame. Unfortunately, there are some personalities who have the charisma to get everyone they love to stand up for them, even when they are wrong. As a child, my parents were not the ones to say:
"My baby would never do that!"
if they got a bad behavior report about me. They would talk to the parties involved, determine what happened, and give me the proper share of the blame. This way, I have learned that in most disagreement, some blame goes to all parties involved.
Please, those of you in relationships out there, don't hurt friendships by constantly defending your significant other. If your loved one does something to hurt one of your mutual friends, realize that there is always more to an argument than what it appears on the surface. Realize that either party in the relationship will be reluctant to take any blame and realize that just because one of the people involved is in a romantic relationship with you, that you don't have to pretend that they did nothing wrong.
Being in a relationship with someone means being able to see the good and bad in the other person and being able to help reinforce the good things and help to reduce the bad traits. It's a mutual thing. I am very against coddling your partner because it tends to drain you, always having to defend them like your their angry parent after they got into a fight with someone on the playground. Treat them as your equal and your friend. You would not let your best friend do something stupid, why would you excuse your significant other's stupid choices? If you are afraid to speak up to your significant other when they are blatantly wrong, then there are other issues going on. You need to know them and trust them well enough that if they are being stupid, you will say something and that you are being stupid, they will say something to you.
Being in a relationship is not about spoiling each other. It's about building each other up and being accountable to one another. Many couples are successfully able to help one another overcome weaknesses and build on strengths. That is what I desire my marriage to be like. That is why I will say that I know I can be stupid and I know Chris can be stupid. However, we can work together to overcome our difficulties. If we are unable to see that each one of us has a capability for being wrong, it will make our relationship and our social life quite complicated.
That is all! I hope that no one took this as a "diss" or "bash". I am not perfect. I am just writing about something I have observed and seen happening in myself and I wanted to share some insight I gained.
Thanks,
Julia
GASP! - you may say. "Are you telling me that my perfect, beautiful, amazing significant other could have done something wrong? That is not possible! They are always just misunderstood by others and it's not their fault."
This is the most destructive thing for a relationship, in my opinion. You need to understand 1. that you are capable of doing something wrong, 2. that your spouse/significant other/fiancee is capable of doing wrong, 3. that you both need to not automatically assume that each other is right when confronted by an outside party about some misunderstanding.
Take for example, a situation between a group of friends. Some of the friends happen to be in a relationship with one another. Chris and I are being told that we are doing wrong but when we are wronged, the other parties involved say:
"Well, my boyfriend could not have done that. Chris is just overreacting!" Or "My girlfriend is a saint and handles her emotions very well. Julia is just having one of those emotional girl episodes and you (Chris) need to control her better."
Can I tell you all that this has happened to Chris and I before? It's childish, it's stupid, and it's really melodramatic. But guess, we all do it. We all get involved in it. No one wants their side of the story to be the one that gets the blame. Unfortunately, there are some personalities who have the charisma to get everyone they love to stand up for them, even when they are wrong. As a child, my parents were not the ones to say:
"My baby would never do that!"
if they got a bad behavior report about me. They would talk to the parties involved, determine what happened, and give me the proper share of the blame. This way, I have learned that in most disagreement, some blame goes to all parties involved.
Please, those of you in relationships out there, don't hurt friendships by constantly defending your significant other. If your loved one does something to hurt one of your mutual friends, realize that there is always more to an argument than what it appears on the surface. Realize that either party in the relationship will be reluctant to take any blame and realize that just because one of the people involved is in a romantic relationship with you, that you don't have to pretend that they did nothing wrong.
Being in a relationship with someone means being able to see the good and bad in the other person and being able to help reinforce the good things and help to reduce the bad traits. It's a mutual thing. I am very against coddling your partner because it tends to drain you, always having to defend them like your their angry parent after they got into a fight with someone on the playground. Treat them as your equal and your friend. You would not let your best friend do something stupid, why would you excuse your significant other's stupid choices? If you are afraid to speak up to your significant other when they are blatantly wrong, then there are other issues going on. You need to know them and trust them well enough that if they are being stupid, you will say something and that you are being stupid, they will say something to you.
Being in a relationship is not about spoiling each other. It's about building each other up and being accountable to one another. Many couples are successfully able to help one another overcome weaknesses and build on strengths. That is what I desire my marriage to be like. That is why I will say that I know I can be stupid and I know Chris can be stupid. However, we can work together to overcome our difficulties. If we are unable to see that each one of us has a capability for being wrong, it will make our relationship and our social life quite complicated.
That is all! I hope that no one took this as a "diss" or "bash". I am not perfect. I am just writing about something I have observed and seen happening in myself and I wanted to share some insight I gained.
Thanks,
Julia
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Another Shameless Plug for my Novel...and Some other Stuff!
So...if you haven't already heard through my facebook page, you can now buy a paperback copy of my novel, Exceptions, on Amazon.com! If you have an Amazon Prime account, you can get free two day shipping.
I will now be ADD for a minute and vent about Amazon Prime.
I ordered two movies for my Anthropology class this summer that I must view and analyze in a three page paper from an Anthropological perspective. I ordered them Friday evening and Amazon said they would be at my house by Tuesday, June 7th. Well, it's June 8th and they just now got to Woodstock. Hmmm....not so speedy, Amazon.
Anyway, please check out my novel on Amazon and also on Amazon Kindle. I know some people are more tech savvy and like ebooks better.
Only 6 months a few days until I get married! That fact just hit me today. I will be starting a new job soon, so I will have two jobs. I changed my major so now I only have one class picked out for fall and I am waiting until July 18th to hopefully sign up for some more! I really need more than just one class, even though I am getting married at the end of the Fall semester. Overall, life has been great. My summer classes are going well so far. I have found approximately seven errors with the online Anthropology course that were made by my professor. Don't they train her on how to set up the online quizzes? First, she says they all have unlimited attempts and one random quiz had only five attempts and the final quiz had only one. Next, she was supposed to have the computer only record our highest attempt on the quizzes so that we could earn the max points on the quiz portion of the class grade. Well, so far, the first four quizzes did that and now they are all only recording the first grade you get. I have pointed out every one of these mistakes in very respectful emails to my teacher. I am still waiting on extra credit for saving my class mate's butts :-P Something tells me being observant doesn't always get you extra credit in college, lol.
That's all I got going on for now. Check out my Book on Amazon!
Love,
Julia
I will now be ADD for a minute and vent about Amazon Prime.
I ordered two movies for my Anthropology class this summer that I must view and analyze in a three page paper from an Anthropological perspective. I ordered them Friday evening and Amazon said they would be at my house by Tuesday, June 7th. Well, it's June 8th and they just now got to Woodstock. Hmmm....not so speedy, Amazon.
Anyway, please check out my novel on Amazon and also on Amazon Kindle. I know some people are more tech savvy and like ebooks better.
Only 6 months a few days until I get married! That fact just hit me today. I will be starting a new job soon, so I will have two jobs. I changed my major so now I only have one class picked out for fall and I am waiting until July 18th to hopefully sign up for some more! I really need more than just one class, even though I am getting married at the end of the Fall semester. Overall, life has been great. My summer classes are going well so far. I have found approximately seven errors with the online Anthropology course that were made by my professor. Don't they train her on how to set up the online quizzes? First, she says they all have unlimited attempts and one random quiz had only five attempts and the final quiz had only one. Next, she was supposed to have the computer only record our highest attempt on the quizzes so that we could earn the max points on the quiz portion of the class grade. Well, so far, the first four quizzes did that and now they are all only recording the first grade you get. I have pointed out every one of these mistakes in very respectful emails to my teacher. I am still waiting on extra credit for saving my class mate's butts :-P Something tells me being observant doesn't always get you extra credit in college, lol.
That's all I got going on for now. Check out my Book on Amazon!
Love,
Julia
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
This is the Last time...
This is the last time I will be switching my major.
For the past two years I have been a couple different majors. It was bio chem first, then management, then english, then sociology, psychology, then english and finally...
Sociology.
I knew I loved sociology when I took it last summer. So why did I switch?
Simple. I didn't think it would make me enough money. Now, I find that both sociology and English are listed as one of the top 20 majors that have the best entry level salary potential upon graduation. Granted, the computer and economics people are in the top 5 so they are way better off than I am, but I am really excited just sticking with what I love.
This is going to be a good thing. The Lord is teaching me to do things for myself and not worry about how much money I will make.
I am pretty happy today. Besides it being extremely warm outside, I am very happy. Maybe I will go swimming again...hmm... :-P
Anyway, my book should be available for order through Create Space in about a week. I am supposed to receive the proof to review and then I can approve the book for sale. It's so exciting!! *jumps up and down like a little girl* The only next most exciting thing that will happen to me this year is getting married!!! I am super excited about that.
Anyway, hope all my readers have a wonderful day.
Love,
Julia
For the past two years I have been a couple different majors. It was bio chem first, then management, then english, then sociology, psychology, then english and finally...
Sociology.
I knew I loved sociology when I took it last summer. So why did I switch?
Simple. I didn't think it would make me enough money. Now, I find that both sociology and English are listed as one of the top 20 majors that have the best entry level salary potential upon graduation. Granted, the computer and economics people are in the top 5 so they are way better off than I am, but I am really excited just sticking with what I love.
This is going to be a good thing. The Lord is teaching me to do things for myself and not worry about how much money I will make.
I am pretty happy today. Besides it being extremely warm outside, I am very happy. Maybe I will go swimming again...hmm... :-P
Anyway, my book should be available for order through Create Space in about a week. I am supposed to receive the proof to review and then I can approve the book for sale. It's so exciting!! *jumps up and down like a little girl* The only next most exciting thing that will happen to me this year is getting married!!! I am super excited about that.
Anyway, hope all my readers have a wonderful day.
Love,
Julia
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Wondering If I should keep writing...
So far, my book has been on Amazon Kindle for about 2 days. No sales yet. I have read about those breakthrough authors who made millions selling on Kindle. Well, as my book obviously states, they are the exceptions to a well known fact that most authors never get rich.
Good thing I have a back up plan for my career, right?
Yes, I am very excited to earn my Master's degree in Social Work. I hope to start Spring of 2014. When I realized that authors make very little money and I really don't want to teach English, I knew I had to find something else. It was then that I turned to my other passions in life. One of those passions is encouraging and serving others. What better way to do that then Social Work? I hope to one day work for a center that provides alternatives to abortions for women undergoing an unplanned pregnancy. Being pro-life is something I have always felt should be default for everyone. A baby starts developing as soon as conception occurs. I feel that people who find themselves pregnant with a child they were not prepared to have need to know that there are other ways to handle the situation other than abortion. Specifically, I would love to counsel women who decide to keep their babies and help them discover ways to get back on their feet and provide for themselves and their child.
Anyway, needless to say, I am feeling discouraged about my writing. Since I cannot make any money that way, will I just stop altogether? Is it worth keeping my art if it will not yield a profit? Decisions, decisions, I say. Hopefully, this book will sell something. I am just praying now that anyone who does happen to come across it and download it to their Kindle or i-Pad, etc., will take something away from it after reading. Soon, I will have a print version available. The proof was shipped out to me this morning. It will be for sale on Create Space's webpage (createspace.com) and Amazon.com.
Now, I am getting into the rut in my amazing summer that is called summer school. No, I did not fail a course. I chose to do summer school so that I could take less classes next semester to prepare for my wedding. However, I am dreading the work that summer school entails. I know it won't be extremely difficult, just time consuming. I would rather spend my days working and then coming home to relax. Also, I would like to spend my days off chilling at the pool working on my tan and hanging out with friends. I guess I am learning that balancing work and play is an art form and I need to practice.
One more thing: wedding planning is not easy! To any future brides and grooms out there: be warned. You will spend countless hours creating guest lists, worrying about how you will feed all your guests, staring at online pages adding stuff to a gift registry, and making sure your wedding party all wear the same thing...
My bridesmaids finally got their dresses. Of course I picked a dress that is about to be discontinued in a few days. This made it very stressful on my girls, especially the ones who could not pay for their dress up front. I apologize deeply for being such an inconvienent bride. :-P But, I have been blessed with people who will help me make invitations, decorations, and keep me fron losing my mind.
A mind is a terrible thing to lose. Especially for me. :-P
Here is a link to my book on Kindle. Take a peek if you have an e-Reader. If you don't, stay up on my blog because I'll post a link to the print version.
Peace out,
Julia
Exceptions:
A Novel by Julia Hall
Good thing I have a back up plan for my career, right?
Yes, I am very excited to earn my Master's degree in Social Work. I hope to start Spring of 2014. When I realized that authors make very little money and I really don't want to teach English, I knew I had to find something else. It was then that I turned to my other passions in life. One of those passions is encouraging and serving others. What better way to do that then Social Work? I hope to one day work for a center that provides alternatives to abortions for women undergoing an unplanned pregnancy. Being pro-life is something I have always felt should be default for everyone. A baby starts developing as soon as conception occurs. I feel that people who find themselves pregnant with a child they were not prepared to have need to know that there are other ways to handle the situation other than abortion. Specifically, I would love to counsel women who decide to keep their babies and help them discover ways to get back on their feet and provide for themselves and their child.
Anyway, needless to say, I am feeling discouraged about my writing. Since I cannot make any money that way, will I just stop altogether? Is it worth keeping my art if it will not yield a profit? Decisions, decisions, I say. Hopefully, this book will sell something. I am just praying now that anyone who does happen to come across it and download it to their Kindle or i-Pad, etc., will take something away from it after reading. Soon, I will have a print version available. The proof was shipped out to me this morning. It will be for sale on Create Space's webpage (createspace.com) and Amazon.com.
Now, I am getting into the rut in my amazing summer that is called summer school. No, I did not fail a course. I chose to do summer school so that I could take less classes next semester to prepare for my wedding. However, I am dreading the work that summer school entails. I know it won't be extremely difficult, just time consuming. I would rather spend my days working and then coming home to relax. Also, I would like to spend my days off chilling at the pool working on my tan and hanging out with friends. I guess I am learning that balancing work and play is an art form and I need to practice.
One more thing: wedding planning is not easy! To any future brides and grooms out there: be warned. You will spend countless hours creating guest lists, worrying about how you will feed all your guests, staring at online pages adding stuff to a gift registry, and making sure your wedding party all wear the same thing...
My bridesmaids finally got their dresses. Of course I picked a dress that is about to be discontinued in a few days. This made it very stressful on my girls, especially the ones who could not pay for their dress up front. I apologize deeply for being such an inconvienent bride. :-P But, I have been blessed with people who will help me make invitations, decorations, and keep me fron losing my mind.
A mind is a terrible thing to lose. Especially for me. :-P
Here is a link to my book on Kindle. Take a peek if you have an e-Reader. If you don't, stay up on my blog because I'll post a link to the print version.
Peace out,
Julia
Exceptions:
A Novel by Julia Hall
Monday, May 23, 2011
I love Blogging...
Mondays are a GREAT day to blog!
Just Sayin'
Anyway, I am kicking myself for not taking the time this weekend to work on my novel! I have another blog that has most of the chapters I have completed thus far. I need to provide a link to that blog on this blog. It is a novel I call "Exceptions". It is about an FBI psychologist who loses her brother and reconnects with her father, who has been separated from the family for years. She also learns to reconnect with her spirituality in the process. I am so excited to have it finished. My goal is to get it finished this summer and self-publish it on the Amazon Kindle website. If you have a Kindle, iPod, iPhone, iPad, or Kindle app for Windows you can read it that way. If you don't have those, you can access the book through my blog.
Here is the Link to my Blog: Exceptions: A Novel by Julia Hall
Anyhoo, I am coming to terms with the fact that I probably need a second job. Things are getting more expensive. I have already spent almost $100 dollars in gas this month and I barely drive 150 miles per week!! This time last year I could drive that much for like 60 or 70 dollars a month. It's crazy! Also, I started paying this month on Chris's wedding band and I have been paying my medical bills each month, too. It's ridiculous. I am hoping that everything will go well as far as my job situation. If I can get a job that offers good health benefits, I may be able to afford some allergy shots and that will greatly improve my asthma and allergic reactions to dust.
On another note, I decided this month not to go into Education. I feel the Lord leading me in a different direction. I plan to continue on in my English bachelor's degree and minor in Criminology. After I graduate, I plan to apply to the Master's of Social Work program at Kennesaw. If I am to do this, I definitely need a job with more flexible hours because the Master's of Social Work will require an internship that will be a couple of days a week. Getting a job that has day, evening, and weekend hours will be best.
I am praying that the Lord will give me the strength to get on with my life even if I feel it is not always fair. I have been asking a lot of God lately and I am not sure that He always answers in the way I expect. I have heard stories of people who needed to adopt children from China or go on missions trips to faraway countries who were short thousands of dollars and miraculously received checks in their mailbox days before the money was due. This has never happened to me. I have raised a lot of money in one day when I went to Paraguay a couple years ago, but I have never received random checks in the mail. I need money, I but I feel that God has called me to keep working faithfully and be the best worker I can. Also, if I am the best student I can be, I have a feeling He will reward me. I will be able to pay my student loans, medical bills, tuition bills, and other bills off no problem if I just keep working hard. Luckily for me, I am taking just two classes online this summer and three classes in the fall. That way I will have lots of time to work. Hopefully I will be able to be wise with my money, afford what is still needed for my wedding, and help Chris and I get off to a good financial start in our new life together.
Thanks again for reading! I appreciate all my readers very much :)
Love,
Julia
Just Sayin'
Anyway, I am kicking myself for not taking the time this weekend to work on my novel! I have another blog that has most of the chapters I have completed thus far. I need to provide a link to that blog on this blog. It is a novel I call "Exceptions". It is about an FBI psychologist who loses her brother and reconnects with her father, who has been separated from the family for years. She also learns to reconnect with her spirituality in the process. I am so excited to have it finished. My goal is to get it finished this summer and self-publish it on the Amazon Kindle website. If you have a Kindle, iPod, iPhone, iPad, or Kindle app for Windows you can read it that way. If you don't have those, you can access the book through my blog.
Here is the Link to my Blog: Exceptions: A Novel by Julia Hall
Anyhoo, I am coming to terms with the fact that I probably need a second job. Things are getting more expensive. I have already spent almost $100 dollars in gas this month and I barely drive 150 miles per week!! This time last year I could drive that much for like 60 or 70 dollars a month. It's crazy! Also, I started paying this month on Chris's wedding band and I have been paying my medical bills each month, too. It's ridiculous. I am hoping that everything will go well as far as my job situation. If I can get a job that offers good health benefits, I may be able to afford some allergy shots and that will greatly improve my asthma and allergic reactions to dust.
On another note, I decided this month not to go into Education. I feel the Lord leading me in a different direction. I plan to continue on in my English bachelor's degree and minor in Criminology. After I graduate, I plan to apply to the Master's of Social Work program at Kennesaw. If I am to do this, I definitely need a job with more flexible hours because the Master's of Social Work will require an internship that will be a couple of days a week. Getting a job that has day, evening, and weekend hours will be best.
I am praying that the Lord will give me the strength to get on with my life even if I feel it is not always fair. I have been asking a lot of God lately and I am not sure that He always answers in the way I expect. I have heard stories of people who needed to adopt children from China or go on missions trips to faraway countries who were short thousands of dollars and miraculously received checks in their mailbox days before the money was due. This has never happened to me. I have raised a lot of money in one day when I went to Paraguay a couple years ago, but I have never received random checks in the mail. I need money, I but I feel that God has called me to keep working faithfully and be the best worker I can. Also, if I am the best student I can be, I have a feeling He will reward me. I will be able to pay my student loans, medical bills, tuition bills, and other bills off no problem if I just keep working hard. Luckily for me, I am taking just two classes online this summer and three classes in the fall. That way I will have lots of time to work. Hopefully I will be able to be wise with my money, afford what is still needed for my wedding, and help Chris and I get off to a good financial start in our new life together.
Thanks again for reading! I appreciate all my readers very much :)
Love,
Julia
Monday, May 16, 2011
The End of the World as We Know it!
On this dreary Monday morning, I pose a question to all my loyal readers:
Is 6:00 PM local time, Saturday May 21st, 2011 the end of the world?
I do not know. I really don't want to know. All I know is that Jesus says in Matthew 25
“Then the Kingdom of Heaven will be like ten bridesmaids[a] who took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom. 2 Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. 3 The five who were foolish didn’t take enough olive oil for their lamps, 4 but the other five were wise enough to take along extra oil. 5 When the bridegroom was delayed, they all became drowsy and fell asleep.
6 “At midnight they were roused by the shout, ‘Look, the bridegroom is coming! Come out and meet him!’
7 “All the bridesmaids got up and prepared their lamps. 8 Then the five foolish ones asked the others, ‘Please give us some of your oil because our lamps are going out.’
9 “But the others replied, ‘We don’t have enough for all of us. Go to a shop and buy some for yourselves.’
10 “But while they were gone to buy oil, the bridegroom came. Then those who were ready went in with him to the marriage feast, and the door was locked. 11 Later, when the other five bridesmaids returned, they stood outside, calling, ‘Lord! Lord! Open the door for us!’
12 “But he called back, ‘Believe me, I don’t know you!’
13 “So you, too, must keep watch! For you do not know the day or hour of my return."
It would appear to me that Mr. Harold Camping, the man who predicted 6 Pm on May 21st, has just tried to predict the day and the hour. Jesus Himself said that we will not know. Also, Mr. Camping first predicted the coming of Christ on September 6th, 1994. Obviously, that did not happen. Since then, he attributed the mistake to a mathematical error in his calculation of the timeline of Biblical History. You see, he believes that the flood began exactly 4990 BC. Mr. Camping also thinks that the Lord means 1,000 years when he talks about days because of a verse in 2 Peter 3:8:
8But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.
So, this preacher determined that God would take "seven days", or seven thousand years, between the beginning of the flood of Noah and now to destroy the earth. His formula looks like this:
4990 BC + 2011 - 1 = 7000
The minus one came from the fact that the calender does not have a 0 BC. It just went straight into 1 AD. So, in other words, this man has decided that the Lord encrypted the Bible with a mathematical formula to predict the rapture. Camping also believes that according to Revelation 9: 5
5And to them it was given that they should not kill them, but that they should be tormented five months: and their torment was as the torment of a scorpion, when he striketh a man.
...that people who are not raptured this Saturday will be tortured for exactly five months until October 21st when God will judge everyone according to their actions and the earth will be destroyed.
So do you think this man is a false prophet? Personally, I do. I am not too worried about whether he really is right, though, because I believe in the Lord and I know that He has saved me. However, something to consider is this verse in Deuteronomy 18:
21 “But you may wonder, ‘How will we know whether or not a prophecy is from the Lord?’ 22 If the prophet speaks in the Lord’s name but his prediction does not happen or come true, you will know that the Lord did not give that message. That prophet has spoken without my authority and need not be feared.
In other words, Mr. Camping was wrong once already. By the standards God gave Moses in the Old Testament, Mr. Camping did not truly hear from the Lord on that one. My opinion is that this is no different. However, should the world really end on May 21st or June 22nd or September 13th (just making up random days here to get my point across), don't be afraid. Follow Jesus's advice in Matthew 25. Don't be the bridesmaids who were not prepared for the groom's return. Be ready! But don't be worrying too much about when Jesus is coming back. Do your best to follow his commands and learn to be more like Him each day on this earth. Smile at someone, let them know God cares for them, invite them to church or Bible study, but don't abandon your daily life as though it will all be gone on Saturday. Just enjoy the life the Lord has given you on this earth and be ready and waiting for the day he comes to take you home, whenever it may be!
Hope that gives you a little peace if you were concerned about Saturday. For now, just worry about today. God says to think about today because tomorrow (and saturday!) will worry about themselves.
Peace out!
Julia
Is 6:00 PM local time, Saturday May 21st, 2011 the end of the world?
I do not know. I really don't want to know. All I know is that Jesus says in Matthew 25
“Then the Kingdom of Heaven will be like ten bridesmaids[a] who took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom. 2 Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. 3 The five who were foolish didn’t take enough olive oil for their lamps, 4 but the other five were wise enough to take along extra oil. 5 When the bridegroom was delayed, they all became drowsy and fell asleep.
6 “At midnight they were roused by the shout, ‘Look, the bridegroom is coming! Come out and meet him!’
7 “All the bridesmaids got up and prepared their lamps. 8 Then the five foolish ones asked the others, ‘Please give us some of your oil because our lamps are going out.’
9 “But the others replied, ‘We don’t have enough for all of us. Go to a shop and buy some for yourselves.’
10 “But while they were gone to buy oil, the bridegroom came. Then those who were ready went in with him to the marriage feast, and the door was locked. 11 Later, when the other five bridesmaids returned, they stood outside, calling, ‘Lord! Lord! Open the door for us!’
12 “But he called back, ‘Believe me, I don’t know you!’
13 “So you, too, must keep watch! For you do not know the day or hour of my return."
It would appear to me that Mr. Harold Camping, the man who predicted 6 Pm on May 21st, has just tried to predict the day and the hour. Jesus Himself said that we will not know. Also, Mr. Camping first predicted the coming of Christ on September 6th, 1994. Obviously, that did not happen. Since then, he attributed the mistake to a mathematical error in his calculation of the timeline of Biblical History. You see, he believes that the flood began exactly 4990 BC. Mr. Camping also thinks that the Lord means 1,000 years when he talks about days because of a verse in 2 Peter 3:8:
8But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.
So, this preacher determined that God would take "seven days", or seven thousand years, between the beginning of the flood of Noah and now to destroy the earth. His formula looks like this:
4990 BC + 2011 - 1 = 7000
The minus one came from the fact that the calender does not have a 0 BC. It just went straight into 1 AD. So, in other words, this man has decided that the Lord encrypted the Bible with a mathematical formula to predict the rapture. Camping also believes that according to Revelation 9: 5
5And to them it was given that they should not kill them, but that they should be tormented five months: and their torment was as the torment of a scorpion, when he striketh a man.
...that people who are not raptured this Saturday will be tortured for exactly five months until October 21st when God will judge everyone according to their actions and the earth will be destroyed.
So do you think this man is a false prophet? Personally, I do. I am not too worried about whether he really is right, though, because I believe in the Lord and I know that He has saved me. However, something to consider is this verse in Deuteronomy 18:
21 “But you may wonder, ‘How will we know whether or not a prophecy is from the Lord?’ 22 If the prophet speaks in the Lord’s name but his prediction does not happen or come true, you will know that the Lord did not give that message. That prophet has spoken without my authority and need not be feared.
In other words, Mr. Camping was wrong once already. By the standards God gave Moses in the Old Testament, Mr. Camping did not truly hear from the Lord on that one. My opinion is that this is no different. However, should the world really end on May 21st or June 22nd or September 13th (just making up random days here to get my point across), don't be afraid. Follow Jesus's advice in Matthew 25. Don't be the bridesmaids who were not prepared for the groom's return. Be ready! But don't be worrying too much about when Jesus is coming back. Do your best to follow his commands and learn to be more like Him each day on this earth. Smile at someone, let them know God cares for them, invite them to church or Bible study, but don't abandon your daily life as though it will all be gone on Saturday. Just enjoy the life the Lord has given you on this earth and be ready and waiting for the day he comes to take you home, whenever it may be!
Hope that gives you a little peace if you were concerned about Saturday. For now, just worry about today. God says to think about today because tomorrow (and saturday!) will worry about themselves.
Peace out!
Julia
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Can you spell R-E-A-D?
Have you ever known someone with dyslexia? Have you ever made fun of someone with dyslexia? Are you someone who either has dyslexia or has severe difficulties reading and writing? Then this post is for you.
My gran (my maternal grandmother) told me when I was younger never to make fun of people who do something worse than I do. For example, I have always been really good at writing and reading. It's my passion and my gifting. My gran, however, had problems with reading and writing when she was young. She would tell me stories of how she would go up to the board to spell things in school and get made fun of because she could not spell. This always made me so sad. I could not imagine what life would be like if you could not spell or always spelled things backwards, etc.
Then I met my fiance. He is incredibly smart. However, he gets teased a lot about his spelling. Every time I would see another Facebook posting of his where people were teasing him about his spelling, it made me a little sad inside. People sometimes don't realize how hard he works at english and writing papers. I have been helping him with his papers pretty much ever since we've been together. He has improved tremendously. Also, just because he has problems with spelling, it does not mean he is not good at anything. He is amazing with technology and mechanical things. He builds computers, soups up his airsoft guns, installs stuff in his car all by himself, and even created a prototype of an electrolysis thingy (see what I know about electrical engineering!). He's brilliant. However, it can be hard for some people to understand that if they only focus on his issues with spelling.
This brings me to the point I want to make. I believe God has called me to help children learn to read and write. Too many kids sit in crowded classrooms and struggle because they don't get the attention they need. I would love to specialize in individualized curriculum for kids who have either dyslexia or who have a hard time with spelling and reading comphrehension. However, I am really scared that I will not have the funds to survive what it takes to become certified as a teacher. I am already an English major with almost two years of coursework under my belt. Now, I will have to tack on another load of courses leading to certification. This scares me. it costs money to do that and the internships are unpaid. It seems impossible for me to handle. especially with getting married and needing to help bring in money. I feel like I can't just do a free internship and not make any money on the side while my husband to be has to work like crazy to keep the finances rolling in.
Friends, I need prayer for direction and faith that the Lord will provide if He really wants me to be a teacher. I teach preschool on sundays at my church and I love it. However, "real" teaching is a lot different. In public schools, I would not really get the chance to talk about God as much, if at all. Also, I may encounter children with behavior or attention problems. It kind of scares me. Also, becoming a "real" teacher would require me to do more school and be in school longer since I am already halfway done after this summer with my English degree. I am not sure what I should do.
All I know is that I want to help others not see reading, writing, and spelling as subjects that are extremely difficult. Language is important to all of us and I don't want anyone to be demeaned because they struggle with language arts. People that I know and love have experienced the frustration that these subjects can bring when they don't get the help they need. Hopefully, I will be able to help others learn that spelling, reading, and writing are not things to be afraid of.
Peace out!
Julia
My gran (my maternal grandmother) told me when I was younger never to make fun of people who do something worse than I do. For example, I have always been really good at writing and reading. It's my passion and my gifting. My gran, however, had problems with reading and writing when she was young. She would tell me stories of how she would go up to the board to spell things in school and get made fun of because she could not spell. This always made me so sad. I could not imagine what life would be like if you could not spell or always spelled things backwards, etc.
Then I met my fiance. He is incredibly smart. However, he gets teased a lot about his spelling. Every time I would see another Facebook posting of his where people were teasing him about his spelling, it made me a little sad inside. People sometimes don't realize how hard he works at english and writing papers. I have been helping him with his papers pretty much ever since we've been together. He has improved tremendously. Also, just because he has problems with spelling, it does not mean he is not good at anything. He is amazing with technology and mechanical things. He builds computers, soups up his airsoft guns, installs stuff in his car all by himself, and even created a prototype of an electrolysis thingy (see what I know about electrical engineering!). He's brilliant. However, it can be hard for some people to understand that if they only focus on his issues with spelling.
This brings me to the point I want to make. I believe God has called me to help children learn to read and write. Too many kids sit in crowded classrooms and struggle because they don't get the attention they need. I would love to specialize in individualized curriculum for kids who have either dyslexia or who have a hard time with spelling and reading comphrehension. However, I am really scared that I will not have the funds to survive what it takes to become certified as a teacher. I am already an English major with almost two years of coursework under my belt. Now, I will have to tack on another load of courses leading to certification. This scares me. it costs money to do that and the internships are unpaid. It seems impossible for me to handle. especially with getting married and needing to help bring in money. I feel like I can't just do a free internship and not make any money on the side while my husband to be has to work like crazy to keep the finances rolling in.
Friends, I need prayer for direction and faith that the Lord will provide if He really wants me to be a teacher. I teach preschool on sundays at my church and I love it. However, "real" teaching is a lot different. In public schools, I would not really get the chance to talk about God as much, if at all. Also, I may encounter children with behavior or attention problems. It kind of scares me. Also, becoming a "real" teacher would require me to do more school and be in school longer since I am already halfway done after this summer with my English degree. I am not sure what I should do.
All I know is that I want to help others not see reading, writing, and spelling as subjects that are extremely difficult. Language is important to all of us and I don't want anyone to be demeaned because they struggle with language arts. People that I know and love have experienced the frustration that these subjects can bring when they don't get the help they need. Hopefully, I will be able to help others learn that spelling, reading, and writing are not things to be afraid of.
Peace out!
Julia
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Mediocrity
Oh glorious mediocrity
So bland and diffused
Your pleasant simplicity
Leaves me so confused
Why do I feel that I am
Talented and artistic?
Then life hits - with a slam
My dreams are not realistic
Mediocrity, killer of purpose
Discouraging the bright from shining
No one on earth deserves this
Plucking their wings for flying
No one wants to be average
Or hover around the mean
We all need a little leverage
To help ourselves be seen
We climb those corporate ladders
We compete in professional leagues
We demean ourselves with chatter
That helps us to believe
That maybe our lives aren't worthless
Or boring as school time lectures
Really we just mask the hurt of this
Life lacking depth and texture
If we took time to stop and think
That we are fine the way we are
Mediocrity would not dare to sink
The wishes we place upon a star
Don't succumb to the deceit
That wealth and fame employ
Don't let fear of the average defeat
The dreams that you enjoy
Your life is what you make it to be
You are the painter holding your brush
Don't shy away from mediocrity
Rather, just stand up and tell it to hush
Become who you dreamed of when you were small
Don't be afraid to stand apart
Because in the end, what prevails over all
Is the dream inside your heart
So bland and diffused
Your pleasant simplicity
Leaves me so confused
Why do I feel that I am
Talented and artistic?
Then life hits - with a slam
My dreams are not realistic
Mediocrity, killer of purpose
Discouraging the bright from shining
No one on earth deserves this
Plucking their wings for flying
No one wants to be average
Or hover around the mean
We all need a little leverage
To help ourselves be seen
We climb those corporate ladders
We compete in professional leagues
We demean ourselves with chatter
That helps us to believe
That maybe our lives aren't worthless
Or boring as school time lectures
Really we just mask the hurt of this
Life lacking depth and texture
If we took time to stop and think
That we are fine the way we are
Mediocrity would not dare to sink
The wishes we place upon a star
Don't succumb to the deceit
That wealth and fame employ
Don't let fear of the average defeat
The dreams that you enjoy
Your life is what you make it to be
You are the painter holding your brush
Don't shy away from mediocrity
Rather, just stand up and tell it to hush
Become who you dreamed of when you were small
Don't be afraid to stand apart
Because in the end, what prevails over all
Is the dream inside your heart
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
There is Life After Death
Death, you bring such great sorrow
Like the sting of rain on a cold day
Death, you take my will for tomorrow
And chase all my good dreams away
Where did all my loved ones go?
What happened to the times we shared?
I begged for them to stay, but no,
They were taken and I left, scared
Would I ever see my friends again?
How can I be sure where they are?
Maybe there's life beyond grave, I'll pretend
I'm not sure heaven is real so far
Then I heard the gentle crash
Of peace against the raging emotion
I had tried so hard to stash
In the depths of my depressed ocean
Can it be true that there is One
Who conquered the grave's nasty sting?
One who did what they said couldn't be done
And causes my soul to sing?
Hallelujah, Death, you don't scare me now
I no longer cower when you appear
When I die, I'll be safe and sound
With my Savior holding me near
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This poem explores the intense feeling a person may feel when they are not sure that they know Heaven is a real place and are completely overwhelmed and depressed by thoughts of death or wondering what happened to their loved ones. After reading poetry of Emily Dickinson in Lit class, I realized that her poems focused so much on death because she was trying to understand it and what would happen to her when I died. I wrote this from the perspective of someone like her who is searching for the truth and in the end finds God.
Like the sting of rain on a cold day
Death, you take my will for tomorrow
And chase all my good dreams away
Where did all my loved ones go?
What happened to the times we shared?
I begged for them to stay, but no,
They were taken and I left, scared
Would I ever see my friends again?
How can I be sure where they are?
Maybe there's life beyond grave, I'll pretend
I'm not sure heaven is real so far
Then I heard the gentle crash
Of peace against the raging emotion
I had tried so hard to stash
In the depths of my depressed ocean
Can it be true that there is One
Who conquered the grave's nasty sting?
One who did what they said couldn't be done
And causes my soul to sing?
Hallelujah, Death, you don't scare me now
I no longer cower when you appear
When I die, I'll be safe and sound
With my Savior holding me near
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This poem explores the intense feeling a person may feel when they are not sure that they know Heaven is a real place and are completely overwhelmed and depressed by thoughts of death or wondering what happened to their loved ones. After reading poetry of Emily Dickinson in Lit class, I realized that her poems focused so much on death because she was trying to understand it and what would happen to her when I died. I wrote this from the perspective of someone like her who is searching for the truth and in the end finds God.
Monday, April 25, 2011
There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan
that can succeed against the LORD. Proverbs 21:30
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Happy Monday, everyone! I know nobody likes Mondays, but they seem to be good blogging days for me :-P
I hope everyone enjoyed their Easter celebrating the power and magnitude of what God has done for us! I hope each one of you experienced the new life that you have through the death and resurrection of Christ.
On another note, I would like you to take a moment to read the scripture verse at the beginning of the post. All right, so why did I put that verse there? Well, last night, my fiance and I were talking over budgets and finances with his parents. Planning a life together can be very difficult and it takes a lot of time. Everything looked good. Then came the scary question:
"What will you do if one of you loses a job?"
To be honest, we live in an economy where usually both the husband and wife have to work. I know many couples like that. Part of me wonders if they all had this scary of a question posed to them when they were working on finances. It can be easy at this time we live in to lose a job. People get laid off, companies shut down, contracts fall through, etc. However, I realized that a lot of what I have based my future plans on is rooted in conventional wisdom.
There is nothing wrong with conventional wisdom. However, a lot of people I have talked to say that Chris and I should just wait to get married until one of us has degree and a job with benefits, etc. Yes, that would be wise because we would not have to worry about money. However, the Lord has called us to something different. I always say, the Lord pays for what He orders. For example, my church will start paying staff members in May, the same month that finances start to go down because families go on vacation over summer, etc. Conventional wisdom would say that my pastor should wait to pay his staff until the school year starts back and families attend more regularly. However, my pastor knows that this is what the Lord wants him to do. And the Lord will pay for what He has ordered.
Here we get to the key point of the verse above. No wisdom, no amount of earthly money or earthly job security can stand against the Lord. Yes, we need to work hard and be good stewards of the finances the Lord has given. However, we should not be stingy and we should not cling to our money or our jobs with clenched fists. Why? Because when you are holding everything you have before God with clenched fists, He has to pry open your hands to receive the things in your life that should be turned over to Him. Everything in our lives belongs to Him and we should not hold it back. We should come before him with open hands. Be willing to say: "God, if I lose my job, I don't know what on earth I will do. But you can do things that surpass earthly wisdom, so let me hand this job over to You."
I may seem crazy. Why would I tell people not to worry about money or job security in an economy like this? Well, I am not the first person to tell you not to worry. Jesus Himself said "who, by worrying, can add a day to his life?". The Lord will provide for you, for me, for our family and friends, for our churches, and our country. I'm not perfect. I have anxiety problems for heaven's sake! But I have learned that I cannot add anything to my life by worrying. It only makes things more depressing.
Be open to throwing convention to the wind when God calls you to something that seems impossible. Remember, all things are possible with God and you can to ALL THINGS through CHRIST who STRENGTHENS you!
Happy Monday again!
God Bless,
Julia
that can succeed against the LORD. Proverbs 21:30
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Happy Monday, everyone! I know nobody likes Mondays, but they seem to be good blogging days for me :-P
I hope everyone enjoyed their Easter celebrating the power and magnitude of what God has done for us! I hope each one of you experienced the new life that you have through the death and resurrection of Christ.
On another note, I would like you to take a moment to read the scripture verse at the beginning of the post. All right, so why did I put that verse there? Well, last night, my fiance and I were talking over budgets and finances with his parents. Planning a life together can be very difficult and it takes a lot of time. Everything looked good. Then came the scary question:
"What will you do if one of you loses a job?"
To be honest, we live in an economy where usually both the husband and wife have to work. I know many couples like that. Part of me wonders if they all had this scary of a question posed to them when they were working on finances. It can be easy at this time we live in to lose a job. People get laid off, companies shut down, contracts fall through, etc. However, I realized that a lot of what I have based my future plans on is rooted in conventional wisdom.
There is nothing wrong with conventional wisdom. However, a lot of people I have talked to say that Chris and I should just wait to get married until one of us has degree and a job with benefits, etc. Yes, that would be wise because we would not have to worry about money. However, the Lord has called us to something different. I always say, the Lord pays for what He orders. For example, my church will start paying staff members in May, the same month that finances start to go down because families go on vacation over summer, etc. Conventional wisdom would say that my pastor should wait to pay his staff until the school year starts back and families attend more regularly. However, my pastor knows that this is what the Lord wants him to do. And the Lord will pay for what He has ordered.
Here we get to the key point of the verse above. No wisdom, no amount of earthly money or earthly job security can stand against the Lord. Yes, we need to work hard and be good stewards of the finances the Lord has given. However, we should not be stingy and we should not cling to our money or our jobs with clenched fists. Why? Because when you are holding everything you have before God with clenched fists, He has to pry open your hands to receive the things in your life that should be turned over to Him. Everything in our lives belongs to Him and we should not hold it back. We should come before him with open hands. Be willing to say: "God, if I lose my job, I don't know what on earth I will do. But you can do things that surpass earthly wisdom, so let me hand this job over to You."
I may seem crazy. Why would I tell people not to worry about money or job security in an economy like this? Well, I am not the first person to tell you not to worry. Jesus Himself said "who, by worrying, can add a day to his life?". The Lord will provide for you, for me, for our family and friends, for our churches, and our country. I'm not perfect. I have anxiety problems for heaven's sake! But I have learned that I cannot add anything to my life by worrying. It only makes things more depressing.
Be open to throwing convention to the wind when God calls you to something that seems impossible. Remember, all things are possible with God and you can to ALL THINGS through CHRIST who STRENGTHENS you!
Happy Monday again!
God Bless,
Julia
Monday, April 18, 2011
It's Monday, Monday...
First off, I want to say that while everyone makes fun of Rebecca Black for her Friday song, I don't think she cares because she's made millions. I think I should write a song about how much I hate mondays and I can't wait for the weekend, make millions, and call it a day.
That still doesn't fix my problem of not being able to get up early enough to actually look decent on a monday morning...
I have a presentation in class this afternoon on Emily Dickinson. I am working with two other people. We are singing her poems and acting them out. The tune that we are singing them to is none other than the Gilligan's Island theme song. It's pretty ridiculous...Shoot. I just remembered I was supposed to bring a camera to record the whole thing. Oh well, what can I say? It's monday, monday, I forget everything on muh-uhn-day...Can't wait for the weekend....
Anyway, I was thinking today about how much of a failure I feel like. I am not really a failure, but sometimes I look at other people's lives and wonder how they managed to be so storybook happy. Some days I feel that way, but others I feel like I've just been hit by a freight train. You know, it could be that it's just because it's the first day of the week and I woke up 35 minutes late and have a presentation in Lit class today...that's probably most of the problem. However, I know I need more confidence in myself and I need more confidence in my Savior. I haven't been talking to Him as much as I should lately and I can tell by how bad I am feeling. It's funny how a little prayer each day goes a long way...
God, please bless my friends and anyone reading this blog. Please forgive me for being so self-centered that I forget to spend time with you and I forget the things that truly matter. Thanks for Your grace and Your providence. Show me what it means to love You, others, and myself. Help my friends, readers, and I to shine Your light for You, even on Mondays when everything seems to drag along,
Love,
Julia
There's a little prayer for everyone today! Monday doesn't have to be so bad after all...Who knows? It could become the next friday?
Okay....maybe not. Forget I wrote that :-P
Have a great week everyone!
Love,
Julia
That still doesn't fix my problem of not being able to get up early enough to actually look decent on a monday morning...
I have a presentation in class this afternoon on Emily Dickinson. I am working with two other people. We are singing her poems and acting them out. The tune that we are singing them to is none other than the Gilligan's Island theme song. It's pretty ridiculous...Shoot. I just remembered I was supposed to bring a camera to record the whole thing. Oh well, what can I say? It's monday, monday, I forget everything on muh-uhn-day...Can't wait for the weekend....
Anyway, I was thinking today about how much of a failure I feel like. I am not really a failure, but sometimes I look at other people's lives and wonder how they managed to be so storybook happy. Some days I feel that way, but others I feel like I've just been hit by a freight train. You know, it could be that it's just because it's the first day of the week and I woke up 35 minutes late and have a presentation in Lit class today...that's probably most of the problem. However, I know I need more confidence in myself and I need more confidence in my Savior. I haven't been talking to Him as much as I should lately and I can tell by how bad I am feeling. It's funny how a little prayer each day goes a long way...
God, please bless my friends and anyone reading this blog. Please forgive me for being so self-centered that I forget to spend time with you and I forget the things that truly matter. Thanks for Your grace and Your providence. Show me what it means to love You, others, and myself. Help my friends, readers, and I to shine Your light for You, even on Mondays when everything seems to drag along,
Love,
Julia
There's a little prayer for everyone today! Monday doesn't have to be so bad after all...Who knows? It could become the next friday?
Okay....maybe not. Forget I wrote that :-P
Have a great week everyone!
Love,
Julia
Monday, April 11, 2011
Inferiority - it's Not from God!!
One thing I have been feeling all week is that I am inferior.
Why? Because I see people I knew in high school who forced some good things to happen to them. I almost think they did it to show off to others as if to say: "Look at me now! You were mean to me in high school or you had something/someone I wanted. Well, here I am, so happy and successful and where are you?"
Working a minimum wage job at Kennesaw State University and in debt for my college degree. I am taking a lot of medication (which when I tell people I often get the "why are you on so many drugs?") and I am in debt to the pulmonologist and allergist for finding out I have asthma and allergies. Sometimes I wonder: why me? Why can't I be happy like the other people I know? Why don't I have a better paying job? Why am I not married yet? Why am I in debt with others aren't over school? Why am I not a good enough Christian?
I often think that if I were a better Christian, my life could have gone better. I could be going to college where I am not in debt. Perhaps I could still be working a fast food job but perhaps with a management position so I make more money and qualify for some kind of health care. Perhaps I could be married to the man of my dreams that I chased after for months until he married me...
Then I realized, why am I so whiny?
I have a "friend" who got married recently. Lovely person, just doesn't seem to like me very much. This friend was jealous of my relationship in high school. This person wanted love and to be loved. Who doesn't? Well, they went to college, found a mate, and got married in an unbelievably short time frame. I was jealous. And I was not even invited to the wedding. At one time, I thought that this person and I were super close. What happened?
I have been in a relationship with my fiance for 3 years. We aren't getting married until december. He's not rich and doesn't own his own business like my friend's spouse. But is love all about riches? Now that I think about it, I would not trade my fiance for anyone. He's my best friend and God brought him into my life when I needed a friend. Not when I needed a boyfriend, that part came later. He came into my life when I needed someone to be a real friend to me. God wrote the rest of the story. Now we are engaged and getting married soon.
So why should I be jealous of someone else's happiness?
We live in a society that says: "I want it now and I want to make sure that I get the best to spite all the people that I think are better than me." It's not always about being true to your friends, it's about one-upping and proving that you can do better than the next guy. When did it become this way? I don't think God intended for all of us to sit around and find ways to make others feel inferior. Feeling inferior is what makes us want to one-up others. If we can make ourselves look better than our friends, the feeling of inferiority goes away. It's as simple as that.
One thing I would challenge you to do, reader, is follow after God and don't feel hurt when people do things to make themselves look better. Let God write the story to your life and trust that it will be more amazing than you can imagine. Sure, you can force things to happen. My old high school buddy is an example. However, it's happier sometimes to be content and just wait for God to bring the next chapter of your life to you. It's a lot less stressful and it's a lot more interesting than if you try to write it yourself. Learn what I learned: don't be bitter because other people are "better off" than you are. If you are serving in the place where the Lord has placed you, you will be just fine. And there's nothing to feel inferior about.
God is the ultimate storyteller. May you let Him give you a story that is beyond what you can ever hope and dream. Just say: "Lord, I will do what you command and follow where you lead" and forget about being better than anyone else. The best way to reach out to others is to let them know that you care and that you don't look down upon them.
Thanks for reading my rant of the day. Hopefully it speaks to you in some way or another,
Sincerely,
Julia
Why? Because I see people I knew in high school who forced some good things to happen to them. I almost think they did it to show off to others as if to say: "Look at me now! You were mean to me in high school or you had something/someone I wanted. Well, here I am, so happy and successful and where are you?"
Working a minimum wage job at Kennesaw State University and in debt for my college degree. I am taking a lot of medication (which when I tell people I often get the "why are you on so many drugs?") and I am in debt to the pulmonologist and allergist for finding out I have asthma and allergies. Sometimes I wonder: why me? Why can't I be happy like the other people I know? Why don't I have a better paying job? Why am I not married yet? Why am I in debt with others aren't over school? Why am I not a good enough Christian?
I often think that if I were a better Christian, my life could have gone better. I could be going to college where I am not in debt. Perhaps I could still be working a fast food job but perhaps with a management position so I make more money and qualify for some kind of health care. Perhaps I could be married to the man of my dreams that I chased after for months until he married me...
Then I realized, why am I so whiny?
I have a "friend" who got married recently. Lovely person, just doesn't seem to like me very much. This friend was jealous of my relationship in high school. This person wanted love and to be loved. Who doesn't? Well, they went to college, found a mate, and got married in an unbelievably short time frame. I was jealous. And I was not even invited to the wedding. At one time, I thought that this person and I were super close. What happened?
I have been in a relationship with my fiance for 3 years. We aren't getting married until december. He's not rich and doesn't own his own business like my friend's spouse. But is love all about riches? Now that I think about it, I would not trade my fiance for anyone. He's my best friend and God brought him into my life when I needed a friend. Not when I needed a boyfriend, that part came later. He came into my life when I needed someone to be a real friend to me. God wrote the rest of the story. Now we are engaged and getting married soon.
So why should I be jealous of someone else's happiness?
We live in a society that says: "I want it now and I want to make sure that I get the best to spite all the people that I think are better than me." It's not always about being true to your friends, it's about one-upping and proving that you can do better than the next guy. When did it become this way? I don't think God intended for all of us to sit around and find ways to make others feel inferior. Feeling inferior is what makes us want to one-up others. If we can make ourselves look better than our friends, the feeling of inferiority goes away. It's as simple as that.
One thing I would challenge you to do, reader, is follow after God and don't feel hurt when people do things to make themselves look better. Let God write the story to your life and trust that it will be more amazing than you can imagine. Sure, you can force things to happen. My old high school buddy is an example. However, it's happier sometimes to be content and just wait for God to bring the next chapter of your life to you. It's a lot less stressful and it's a lot more interesting than if you try to write it yourself. Learn what I learned: don't be bitter because other people are "better off" than you are. If you are serving in the place where the Lord has placed you, you will be just fine. And there's nothing to feel inferior about.
God is the ultimate storyteller. May you let Him give you a story that is beyond what you can ever hope and dream. Just say: "Lord, I will do what you command and follow where you lead" and forget about being better than anyone else. The best way to reach out to others is to let them know that you care and that you don't look down upon them.
Thanks for reading my rant of the day. Hopefully it speaks to you in some way or another,
Sincerely,
Julia
Monday, April 4, 2011
New Title to my Blog!!
Okay so I have not written in a long, long time. I was actually inspired to write something again after reading my Fiancee's blog. He posts on his blog more frequently then I post on mine and I am the writer of the couple, lol.
Well, since I have last written, lots of things have changed in my life. Hence, the new title. For the past few weeks, I have struggled with wondering how I will get through some of the turmoil of life altering changes. That's when I realized that I can because God can.
It's a funny thing how you seem to do better when you stop worrying about how to get things done and just trust God to get you through.
Now, does this mean that I am perfect and have mastered the art of doing all things through Christ who strengthens me? No. I still try and do things my way most of the time, because I am still learning to be the college student that could (through Christ). It's so easy for me to get discouraged by earthly things. For example, I got engaged on February 11th. Now I have to figure out how to plan a wedding without spending an arm and a leg. A month after I got engaged, I got a huge doctor bill for 700$ and I have two more bills coming. Georgia changed the HOPE scholarship so I went from owing only $500 dollars per semester to owing more like $1200. My dad lost his night job (which was a part time and paying him fairly well). So all these things happened last month. Until the third week of March, I had been so excited being engaged. I wasn't feeling anxious or depressed, despite being diagnosed with Asthma and finding out I have a severe dust/dust mite allergy. Everything was starting to make sense and I was starting to feel more confident in myself.
Then those changes came. The anxiety got a little worse. I started to hyper-focus on the little things that don't matter (that's the OCD coming out) and worry about my bank account falling below a certain number. I worried about what I would do if I had to buy new clothes or if my computer broke. How would I pay for everything? How was I going to pay for a wedding now, much less move out on my own? How would Chris and I pay for my medication?
Well, God works in mysterious ways.
My dad just got a check for over $2000 dollars and has 15 laptops being fed-exed to the house. He got a contract job restoring laptops. He has a couple of people interested in him and he could get these jobs every other month or so. Chris (my fiancee) is going to help him and make 15 bucks an hour!! I found out that my inhalers and my singulair (asthma pills) are free on my current insurance plan and I found a health plan for Chris and I to enroll in who uses the same pharmacy provider as my parent's plans. This could mean that I can receive similar benefits even when I change insurance companies (at least that's what the pharmacy insurers told me). We'll see. Also, I am taking four classes this summer because the HOPE benefits don't change until fall 2011. I will only owe around $350 for my summer semester. My doctor was able to set me up on a payment plan to pay off my bills and I am able to use the doctor's at KSU clinic for my check-ups and to get refills of my maintenance drugs (and it doesn't cost anything to see those doctors cause I'm a student!!).
As far as wedding stuff goes, I got a dress at an unbelievably good price and I am toying with the idea of wearing sparkly silver Tom's for the reception! I have a wonderful church where I want to have the ceremony and the reception and a great member of the church who caters. Also, one of my best friends is creating the cake! It is going to be delicious. Now all I really have to do is focus on how I want to decorate and finding a good (and fairly priced) photographer. If any of my readers know one, please let me know!!
So that's my post. I am not too concerned about how I will make it through the day anymore because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! And anytime I forget that, He is there to pick me back up and help me start anew. Gotta love God's grace!!
Be Blessed,
Julia
Well, since I have last written, lots of things have changed in my life. Hence, the new title. For the past few weeks, I have struggled with wondering how I will get through some of the turmoil of life altering changes. That's when I realized that I can because God can.
It's a funny thing how you seem to do better when you stop worrying about how to get things done and just trust God to get you through.
Now, does this mean that I am perfect and have mastered the art of doing all things through Christ who strengthens me? No. I still try and do things my way most of the time, because I am still learning to be the college student that could (through Christ). It's so easy for me to get discouraged by earthly things. For example, I got engaged on February 11th. Now I have to figure out how to plan a wedding without spending an arm and a leg. A month after I got engaged, I got a huge doctor bill for 700$ and I have two more bills coming. Georgia changed the HOPE scholarship so I went from owing only $500 dollars per semester to owing more like $1200. My dad lost his night job (which was a part time and paying him fairly well). So all these things happened last month. Until the third week of March, I had been so excited being engaged. I wasn't feeling anxious or depressed, despite being diagnosed with Asthma and finding out I have a severe dust/dust mite allergy. Everything was starting to make sense and I was starting to feel more confident in myself.
Then those changes came. The anxiety got a little worse. I started to hyper-focus on the little things that don't matter (that's the OCD coming out) and worry about my bank account falling below a certain number. I worried about what I would do if I had to buy new clothes or if my computer broke. How would I pay for everything? How was I going to pay for a wedding now, much less move out on my own? How would Chris and I pay for my medication?
Well, God works in mysterious ways.
My dad just got a check for over $2000 dollars and has 15 laptops being fed-exed to the house. He got a contract job restoring laptops. He has a couple of people interested in him and he could get these jobs every other month or so. Chris (my fiancee) is going to help him and make 15 bucks an hour!! I found out that my inhalers and my singulair (asthma pills) are free on my current insurance plan and I found a health plan for Chris and I to enroll in who uses the same pharmacy provider as my parent's plans. This could mean that I can receive similar benefits even when I change insurance companies (at least that's what the pharmacy insurers told me). We'll see. Also, I am taking four classes this summer because the HOPE benefits don't change until fall 2011. I will only owe around $350 for my summer semester. My doctor was able to set me up on a payment plan to pay off my bills and I am able to use the doctor's at KSU clinic for my check-ups and to get refills of my maintenance drugs (and it doesn't cost anything to see those doctors cause I'm a student!!).
As far as wedding stuff goes, I got a dress at an unbelievably good price and I am toying with the idea of wearing sparkly silver Tom's for the reception! I have a wonderful church where I want to have the ceremony and the reception and a great member of the church who caters. Also, one of my best friends is creating the cake! It is going to be delicious. Now all I really have to do is focus on how I want to decorate and finding a good (and fairly priced) photographer. If any of my readers know one, please let me know!!
So that's my post. I am not too concerned about how I will make it through the day anymore because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! And anytime I forget that, He is there to pick me back up and help me start anew. Gotta love God's grace!!
Be Blessed,
Julia
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Keeping up with the Expectations
Today was stressful...
It was the day I realized that Georgia having a snow day tends to set class schedules at a new pace - a faster one. Being in college, professors seem to expect that all their students have plenty of time to finish busy work. However, most of us are busy young adults who are trying to work and learn how to be independent. Throwing school work that may not always be necessary just makes stress worse.
And you know what is even harder about all that? Keeping up with people's expectations. We all have family members, bosses, and, in some cases, professors. It's not easy feeling like there are so many standards to live up to and so many deadlines to be met. Sometimes, on top of all the busy hustle of life, adding in time with God gets difficult. Then what happens?
Guilt creeps in. Personally, I struggled with guilt about my faith for years. I always felt like trying to live up to others' expectations was socially acceptable, but that it put be farther from God. So I decided I must be doing something wrong. Perhaps I needed to learn to pray on the go or read my bible on my lunch break or before class starts. Then what happens is this: I get more homework one week and I end up reading a textbook instead of a bible at break time.
In spite of all the expectations we feel from both the spiritual and physical aspects of life, I have learned the most important thing is to communicate with God and focus on what he expects of me. Often, if you look to God and really listen for His voice, other areas of life will start to feel less pressured and tense. It's amazing. It's not always easy. Even today, I have given in to some of the anxieties of life. However, God is always there and He's just waiting for me to run into His open arms.
I pray that anyone who reads this will have a blessed, non-stressful week! Remember, God heals all the pains, stresses, and afflictions of this life. He is all-sufficient for us.
God bless,
Julia
It was the day I realized that Georgia having a snow day tends to set class schedules at a new pace - a faster one. Being in college, professors seem to expect that all their students have plenty of time to finish busy work. However, most of us are busy young adults who are trying to work and learn how to be independent. Throwing school work that may not always be necessary just makes stress worse.
And you know what is even harder about all that? Keeping up with people's expectations. We all have family members, bosses, and, in some cases, professors. It's not easy feeling like there are so many standards to live up to and so many deadlines to be met. Sometimes, on top of all the busy hustle of life, adding in time with God gets difficult. Then what happens?
Guilt creeps in. Personally, I struggled with guilt about my faith for years. I always felt like trying to live up to others' expectations was socially acceptable, but that it put be farther from God. So I decided I must be doing something wrong. Perhaps I needed to learn to pray on the go or read my bible on my lunch break or before class starts. Then what happens is this: I get more homework one week and I end up reading a textbook instead of a bible at break time.
In spite of all the expectations we feel from both the spiritual and physical aspects of life, I have learned the most important thing is to communicate with God and focus on what he expects of me. Often, if you look to God and really listen for His voice, other areas of life will start to feel less pressured and tense. It's amazing. It's not always easy. Even today, I have given in to some of the anxieties of life. However, God is always there and He's just waiting for me to run into His open arms.
I pray that anyone who reads this will have a blessed, non-stressful week! Remember, God heals all the pains, stresses, and afflictions of this life. He is all-sufficient for us.
God bless,
Julia
Saturday, January 15, 2011
OCD and religiosity
Here is an interesting article about people who suffer from OCD that is triggered by religiosity:
http://www.anxietyandstress.com/ocdreligionandscrupulosity.html
Remember:
"The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.[a] And by him we cry, “Abba,[b] Father.”
Romans 8:15 NIV
That's all for now,
Julia
http://www.anxietyandstress.com/ocdreligionandscrupulosity.html
Remember:
"The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.[a] And by him we cry, “Abba,[b] Father.”
Romans 8:15 NIV
That's all for now,
Julia
Introduction
For those of you who do not know, I am one of the approximately 40 million Americans who suffer an anxiety disorder (source: www.anxietysupportnetwork.com). Anxiety is a strange thing. Many people suffer minor anxiety for short periods of time in their lives. Others suffer from it constantly. According to the DSM-IV manual for diagnosing anxiety disorders, Generalized Anxiety Disorder is characterized by several symptoms. One of them is suffering from anxiety more days than not for six consecutive months. That is what I have. This disorder causes problems with my moods and my nervous system. People with GAD tend to suffer chronic muscle tension, have poor concentration, and have trouble sleeping. Also, panic attacks can go along with this issue.
For years, I have suffered from obssesive-compulsive behaviors which are mostly linked to my fear of not being good enough for God, church, or religion. Recently, I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Depression, which stemmed from the chronic anxiety. These disorders are caused by a dysfunction of the re-uptake of a neurotransmitter in the brain called serotonin. The neurons in your brain carry electrical impulses to other parts of your brain in order to regulate your bodily functions. When the neurons get rid of serotonin (in a process called re-uptake) too quickly, it can harm the stability your moods, which can lead to anxiety and depression. While it is not very common, some people's anxiety is triggered by perfectionism that is linked to religiosity.
So am I against religion or Christianity? NO WAY! I believe that Jesus Christ is the only way to heaven. I believe that every word of the Bible is God-breathed and effective for teaching others the Good News. What I do not believe is that you have to be "good enough" for God in order to make it to heaven. Some pastors I have heard in the past preach that if you have not confessed every single sin at the time of your death, you will not make it into heaven because God cannot have sin in His presence. If you know your Bible, you know that God sent His son to die because none of us could ever possibly be good enough.
As a child, I suffered from obsessive compulsive behaviors. Some of these still manifest themselves today. While I was told I do not meet the criteria for OCD in every factor, I still suffer the oppressive obsessions with being "good enough". At ten years old, I was terribly afraid I had blasphemed the name of God. The thoughts of being a horrible person filled my child-like mind. I lost sleep over obsessing whether or not I was still good enough to go to heaven. I memorized bible verses and paced back and forth reciting them as if I were casting off a demon spirit or something. Have you ever heard of hoarding? Mostly people hoard physical objects. Instead, I hoarded away scripture verses and religious sayings to make myself sure that I would reach heaven.
The only problem I encountered came in high school. THe School I attended was very old fashioned in their teaching of Christianity. It was more works-centered than anything else. Even all the tools I had stored up to ward off my religious anxiety were no match for the holiness of the school director, her huband, son-inlaw, and daughter. Actually, I was never good enough for her. Although I was a perfectionist like many of the other teenage girls, she always seemed to like me the least. When I started dating my boyfriend, that was the last straw. Jesus wasn't my everything anymore, they told me. This spun my anxiety in high gear. I feared even being in the room with this woman and her "favorites". I lost friendships because of not being "religious" or "good enough". I bit my nails down to the quick with nervousness everytime I went to servant leader meetings. People shook their heads at me and acted as if I had lost all hope of being good enough for Christianity.
What I forgot was that I am perfect through Christ, not my own doing or the approval of other religious figures. God knows I can't do life on my own. That's why He is there to help me. While I am not mad or holding anything against the people at my high school, I pray that they will know the freedom that comes from following Christ, not religion. I hope they will realize that they can't do anything good enough for God on their own. Remember that God is not sitting up in heaven keeping score of people's sins and good deeds. His grace is sufficient for us. While we should not live only depending on grace and we should always try to follow God's commands, we should remember that messing up can always be forgiven. God will always forgive us.
My walk with Christ has been hard at times. I love God with all my heart and I am grateful for my church, Momentum, that is supportive of me at all times. I know I can trust my church family to be there for me in the hard times. Momentum is full of people who know that religion alone cannot get you into heaven. They understand that Christ is the only way to heaven. We are just one of many churches who have learned that Christianity is about freedom in Christ.
I will use this blog to post more interesting tidbits about anxiety, Christianity, and different issues in the church today. If you have any suggestions, please let me know :)
God Bless,
Julia
For years, I have suffered from obssesive-compulsive behaviors which are mostly linked to my fear of not being good enough for God, church, or religion. Recently, I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Depression, which stemmed from the chronic anxiety. These disorders are caused by a dysfunction of the re-uptake of a neurotransmitter in the brain called serotonin. The neurons in your brain carry electrical impulses to other parts of your brain in order to regulate your bodily functions. When the neurons get rid of serotonin (in a process called re-uptake) too quickly, it can harm the stability your moods, which can lead to anxiety and depression. While it is not very common, some people's anxiety is triggered by perfectionism that is linked to religiosity.
So am I against religion or Christianity? NO WAY! I believe that Jesus Christ is the only way to heaven. I believe that every word of the Bible is God-breathed and effective for teaching others the Good News. What I do not believe is that you have to be "good enough" for God in order to make it to heaven. Some pastors I have heard in the past preach that if you have not confessed every single sin at the time of your death, you will not make it into heaven because God cannot have sin in His presence. If you know your Bible, you know that God sent His son to die because none of us could ever possibly be good enough.
As a child, I suffered from obsessive compulsive behaviors. Some of these still manifest themselves today. While I was told I do not meet the criteria for OCD in every factor, I still suffer the oppressive obsessions with being "good enough". At ten years old, I was terribly afraid I had blasphemed the name of God. The thoughts of being a horrible person filled my child-like mind. I lost sleep over obsessing whether or not I was still good enough to go to heaven. I memorized bible verses and paced back and forth reciting them as if I were casting off a demon spirit or something. Have you ever heard of hoarding? Mostly people hoard physical objects. Instead, I hoarded away scripture verses and religious sayings to make myself sure that I would reach heaven.
The only problem I encountered came in high school. THe School I attended was very old fashioned in their teaching of Christianity. It was more works-centered than anything else. Even all the tools I had stored up to ward off my religious anxiety were no match for the holiness of the school director, her huband, son-inlaw, and daughter. Actually, I was never good enough for her. Although I was a perfectionist like many of the other teenage girls, she always seemed to like me the least. When I started dating my boyfriend, that was the last straw. Jesus wasn't my everything anymore, they told me. This spun my anxiety in high gear. I feared even being in the room with this woman and her "favorites". I lost friendships because of not being "religious" or "good enough". I bit my nails down to the quick with nervousness everytime I went to servant leader meetings. People shook their heads at me and acted as if I had lost all hope of being good enough for Christianity.
What I forgot was that I am perfect through Christ, not my own doing or the approval of other religious figures. God knows I can't do life on my own. That's why He is there to help me. While I am not mad or holding anything against the people at my high school, I pray that they will know the freedom that comes from following Christ, not religion. I hope they will realize that they can't do anything good enough for God on their own. Remember that God is not sitting up in heaven keeping score of people's sins and good deeds. His grace is sufficient for us. While we should not live only depending on grace and we should always try to follow God's commands, we should remember that messing up can always be forgiven. God will always forgive us.
My walk with Christ has been hard at times. I love God with all my heart and I am grateful for my church, Momentum, that is supportive of me at all times. I know I can trust my church family to be there for me in the hard times. Momentum is full of people who know that religion alone cannot get you into heaven. They understand that Christ is the only way to heaven. We are just one of many churches who have learned that Christianity is about freedom in Christ.
I will use this blog to post more interesting tidbits about anxiety, Christianity, and different issues in the church today. If you have any suggestions, please let me know :)
God Bless,
Julia
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